What's in the name? Why I din't change my name after marriage?


"What's in the name?"-  Shakespeare 

In our society, if a woman is not carrying her husband's surname after marriage, they start judging about her character.In a study published in Basic and Applied Psychology in 2010 showed that women who change their names after marriage are more typically viewed as more "caring and emotional," while women who kept their last names were viewed as "smarter and more ambitious."

If women take her husband's surname after marriage, it is a sign of commitment.REALLY? I don't think it makes much sense.

Our Indian society has abundant parameters to explain a girl's character; her loyalty towards her husband, responsibility towards her house and dedication towards her in-laws. But what about her parents who give her all these characteristics? She leaves everything behind after marriage. Can't she even carry surname given by her father -  the name she is known by till now?
Marriage changes everything in a girl's life. She leaves her home, her family, her emotions everything and starts a new life. Does that mean she should leave her identity also?
I still carry my father surname even after my marriage and I proudly introduce myself with my maiden name.

I am happy to have my maiden family attach to me like this, because of whom I exist in this world. My name is a gift from my parents. They gave me my morals, my quality, my features, my habits everything. I still carry everything then why should I leave the identity given by them.

Many girls don't like to change their name after marriage but they do it just because of social trends and orthodox system. Recently, I have seen many girls starting to use their husband's first name instead of their surname or both the surnames (own and husband)  – maybe -- because that looks more appealing.

I remember when I didn't change my name on facebook after marriage, my friends started asking questions about it - "Awww…You have not change your name on facebook?"

Many of the girls are very happy to do it. So I don't want to change their opinion here. I think it should be a personal choice, not a mandatory transformation.
I don't have any hard feelings for the people who do not agree with my point of view but I have the full reservation to not adhere to any stereotypes.

I like to thank my husband that he honors my independence and my decision. He never judges me with this label and not even asked if I would change it. He knows that I am his and don't require any name change for that.
If we talk about gender equality, we need to consider this fact –He carries his father's name and I carry mine.
Yes, there would be problems some times. People will still look us in a suspicious way and we might need to keep our marriage certificate handy. But every change needs time in the beginning. And, problems might come. But, I think it's worth when you stand for what you believe.
My name – My identity
Signing off
Vinni Balyan

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